[ We're in Orlando, Florida within the Amway Aena where Allstar Championship Wrestling is hosting a B-Show event before the big pay-per-view show, New Year's Resolution. With the show off the air for commercials, the couple of thousand fans avert their attention to the center of the ring where ACW's hottest new signing is perched on the top rope, microphone in hand. Beside our Straightedge Superstar is 'The quintessential Diva' Trish Stratus, sporting black leather pants, long pink boots and a long, pink coat. Punk hops down from his seated position and saunters into the middle of the ring, offering his free hand as he raises the mic up to his mouth. ]

CM Punk: ....ORLANDO, FLORDIA!!

[ The fans pop and Punk laps up the cheap face heat. Raising the mic again, he drowns out the sound of the fans with his bellowed voice. ]

CM Punk: Now....if there was ever a concept that was based on somebody doing waaaay too many drugs, it's Mickey Mouse...and the ENTIRE cast of characters....from some guy's acid tripping childhood fantasy called Disney Land!

[ With that, he again scores some face heat and tucks it away in his pocket. Some goofy fan almost Flair Flips over the railings with that comment, probably tripping on acid himself. A few moments pass and then Punk saunters towards one side of the ring, leaning into the top rope with his forearms. The mic goes up. ]

CM Punk: And the best part about it is...you're all from here...and you're ALL praising the fact that I just said where you're all from.. is a CESSPOOL!

[ Trish is sniggering behind her hand and Punk is now landing himself some heel heat now that his demeanour has been exposed. Punk now turns back to face the same side and hops on the spot, performing a mock cheer. ]

CM Punk: We SUCK! Yaaaay!!

[ The heat grows in intensity and Punk just continues to lap it up like a thirsty dog. Trish requests the microphone and takes it with her to the other side of the ring. ]

Trish Stratus: And just incase you creeps have pumped too much gas before the show to grasp why we're here...it isn't to take your cheap support as Punker here heads into the tag-team match at New Year's Resolution....because if you spent less time back-loading and more time appreciating pure, proven wrestling talent over painfully boring and repetitive catch phrases....well, you'd be eligible to back the future of Allstar Championship Wrestling....and not some washed up, wanna-be Tom Cruise...who just so happens to also hail from Florida!

[ Trish hangs her wrist and waits for the noise to blow over before proceeding. ]

Trish Stratus: Coincidence? ...I really doubt that.

[ Handing the microphone back to Punk, Trish runs her tounge over her top row of teeth and brushes off the heat. Punk falls in and proceeds. ]

CM Punk: Don't be mad 'cause Trish caught you out.

[ Punk chuckles and takes Trish by the hand. A handful of obscure chants slowly but surely creep across the surface of the crowd, only throwing fuel into the fire that is Punk's laughter. He steps away from Trish and leans into the ropes. ]

CM Punk: Look at you guys...you're so wasted you can't even string a simple chant together!

[ Punk averts his attention to one half of the crowd. ]

CM Punk: You got this half of you goons chanting your Fuck You's...

[ The chants continue as Punk marches over to the other side of the ring. ]

CM Punk: And then you got the rest of you whining and snivelling like a thousand pill-popping Kurt Angles...it's pathetic! There's just no unity!

[ Punk carries the microphone over towards Trish and puts his arm around her, Trish herself wrapping both arms around his waist and raising her back leg. ]

CM Punk: Y'see...between Trish and myself you'll find absolute unity...and that's all we need. That's all we need to ascend the ranks of this business, we don't need any of you people! We don't need you....OR you're cheap support...so you can go on using all types of shit and drawing your trippy cartoons...we don't wanna know! I'll out-wrestle Triple H and Kurt Angle myself!!

[ Punk lowers the mic and gets showered with boo's. ]

CM Punk: And I'll do it simply because I'm STRAIGHTEDGE!!

[ As the boo's grow louder and more consistent throughout the crowd, Punk finds himself yelling louder into the mic. ]

CM Punk: I don't drink! ...I don't smoke! ...I don't do drugs! ....

AND I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!

[ Punk dumps the mic on the floor and Trish nods alongside him. As the show prepares to return from commercials, Punk climbs out of the ring with a look of intensity slapped across his face, glaring at the front row fans as he leads Trish by hand up the rampway. ]